“Should I marry a non-Mormon?”
It seems as though we have our first hot topic of — the issue of whether to date people who are not members of the Church. I have a wonderful success story for you. One of our sons had a great early morning seminary teacher. She said she grew up in an area where there were very few LDS boys to date much like the area we lived in at the time. Her father told her that he wanted her to be able to date, even if it meant nonmembers.
He told her to choose carefully who outsidr spent time with, just as she would with a member. He said she should accept an invitation for a first date and then invite the person to a church dance or activity for the second date if she wanted to. Our son took this advice to heart. He dated a lot of different girls and then met Diane not her real name. She was surprised and pleased that they really did not. Our son baptized her later that year.
She waited for him while he was on his mission, and they were married in the temple shortly after he returned. They have been married for 25 years. What a great suggestion, Carol! When I was single and going to the Langley Singles Ward here in Northern Virginia, there were so many more sisters than brothers in the ward that cyurch bishop at the time asked one of the visiting general authorities what lds dating outside the church should tell all the sisters who inquired about dating nonmembers.
I had dated and dated within the Church and there was no one that I connected to. We dated, married and several years later, he was baptized. A year later, we were sealed in the temple. Unfortunately, after about tye years, he decided not to continue going to church. I know this also happens with men who have grown up in the church, gone on missions and lds dating outside the church in the temple.
I am leaving it up to Heavenly Father to work with my husband. He supports me in whatever I want to do with regards to the Church and even goes with me to all the social functions. I pray every night for him to return to church. I just have the knowledge that God is in charge and things will work out. I have four adult children, raised in the Church and strong in the gospel, and never imagined them dating outside of the Church. My oldest daughter asked a work friend to partner her to her school formal prom.
She eventually married in the temple and has three children born under the covenant. She says she learnt from her nonmember versus member dating experiences what it was she really wanted datibg a husband. Another daughter lds dating outside the church a wonderful young man at university. They were friends, then good friends moon chae won dating over a year before they actually began dating. He joined the Church a year and a half ago, and their temple wedding is planned for next year.
A third daughter is about to leave on a mission and has never entertained the idea of dating a non-member. Dhurch son dated very little if at all! His eternal companion had only been a member a year when they married — they actually had to fit their wedding date to her baptismal anniversary, in order for her to attend the temple. Is this a cut-and-dried question?
Thanks, too, for sharing lds dating outside the church success stories. I feel that it is absolutely okay lda date nonmembers, especially in high school. I lds dating outside the church up in Nevada, and there were quite a hhe LDS youth in my area. Unfortunately, many LDS boys my age were not living gospel standards, while many non-LDS boys were. As a result, I went on dates with some members and some nonmembers, and had wonderful experiences with all of them.
In high school dating, my father taught me that the most important thing was to get to know a wide variety of people and learn what qualities I like in others. Can you guess which one I dated? If LDS status was a deeply important issue to my parents, I may have missed the mark. That being said, lds dating outside the church high school is over and one starts thinking of marriage, the bar can and should be raised.
Ideally, they will have the desire to marry in the temple, which implies marrying a member. However, I know of many instances in which a righteous member dated a nonmember who ended up converting before or after marriage. I also know situations where the member still hopes and yearns les a temple sealing with a nonmember spouse. The answer here is so completely individual. The important thing is to stay close to the spirit and be open to promptings to go on a date with a nonmember if it feels right.
They may not convert, and it may not lds dating outside the church to marriage, but friendship and seeds can both be The pathway to conversion and to the temple looks different datinng everyone. God moves in a mysterious way. I home teach a sister who was originally sealed to a man who went lds dating outside the church on her after six kids.
She then dated tge married a nice man who was not a member. We have almost got him baptized a few times, but no success yet. She had two children with him who are not sealed. None of her children are very active in the Church. One of the counselors in my stake presidency has a friend that dated a nonmember but refused to be engaged if he were not a member and she refused to be married unless it was in the temple. He took the missionary lessons and joined and a year later took her to the temple.
He is now an Area Authority Seventy. All of their children are married and sealed in the temple. I know others who have been prompted to initially marry out of the temple and their spouse later joined. However, most of those I know who have done that, their spouses have not yet joined or taken them to temple. I met a man years ago outsid told me his courtship story. He received a sports scholarship to a southern Utah college. He came to school knowing nothing about the Church. In his first semester he noticed a gorgeous young lady and told his colleges that he wanted to date her.
He was so smitten by her that he investigated the Church on his own and joined. Afterwards he asked her out and, to make a long story short, they were married on the temple and reared a very successful family. Datibg ask those not married to set dating standards for themselves so that increasing emotional attachments that are apart of the dating process, including the increasing desire for full and lds dating outside the church intimacy drives them to marry someone less that they deserve and need.