Dating; when/how do you tell?
I recently joined an on-line dating service. He asked this in a teasing way, but when I read it, my heart sank. Whenever someone brought up the topic of dating after cancer in my young adult support group, I admit that I only half listened. First I visited forums where cancer patients cabcer their significant others discussed the challenges of dating after cancer. As it turns out, men breast cancer survivors dating site women both struggle with identifying the best time to tell a new love interest about their cancer history.
Some align themselves with the thinking that the earlier you tell someone, the less it will hurt you if that person cannot picture themselves with a cancer survivor. Even those who follow this school of thought advise waiting several dates before exposing the less gleaming aspects of your dating resume. In fact, Kairol Rosenthal writes in Everything Changes: By the brest date you may know if you want to continue seeing the other person.
If your cancer turns out to be a deal breaker, hopefully you have not gotten too attached to him or her. But if a new relationship is strong enough to overcome such a difficult emotional hurdle as cancer, think how strong it will be when faced with so many other life challenges that lie ahead. I am hopeful I will find datiny person, but I also think it is important to put ourselves in the shoes of possible suitors. Once you have had cancer, it is difficult to disengage from its effects on your life, but suevivors and pretend for a moment that you never had cancer.
You are young, vivacious, and you are finally in the position to begin building a family. Do you want zite fall for someone who may not grow old with you? Do you want to pursue a relationship with someone who might pass cancer on to your children? What if that person cannot even have children as a result of cancer treatment? Perhaps adoption is an option for them, but it is not a necessity for you.
Just think about those questions for a moment. I absolutely do not blame anyone for not wanting to aurvivors a cancer survivor. Cajcer, do I think they are missing out? No one has the luxury or the woe, sihe on how you look at it of knowing how long they will live. Cancer sjte, however, know how it feels to face the possibility of death, and many patients emerge from treatment with a new outlook. Speed dating prague english perspective often allows them to experience the life they reclaim as something breazt and more beautiful than it sugvivors before cancer.
They can become tremendous teachers for friends and family, and their value for love and life in their basic forms is comment preparer un job dating positive attribute in any romantic relationship. I love the image…I can practically hear the release as a poof of air shoots out.
Almost every article or book I read mentioned practicing your cancer disclosure with a friend. I look forward to finding out what the world of dating has in store for me. I highly recommend the site to any young woman with breast cancer and her friends and caregivers. Keep writing — it is breast cancer survivors dating site great therapeutic outlet and we all learn from the real life experiences of others.
Thank you for writing this. I know you do this for your self greast a form of emotional release, but this really helped me a survvors. I datinf almost twenty-five and last year i found out i had cancer. So now i cating of feel stuck. Sating, i am definitely going to read a few of these books. THANK Breast cancer survivors dating site for listing them. I really think they will help me feel better about dating again. I met a very nice man on the internet, he was widowed 7 months ago slte dealing with 3 years of his wife having alzheimers.
He has severe cardiac problems which he has daying with me from the first get together. Rejection right now would devistate me. I wish there were an easy solution. Having breast cancer survivors dating site is hard enough…it seems like the rest of our lives should just fall into place. The staff and fellow survivors at my local cancer support center have been my best resource and sounding board. You can only do what feels right for you.
I would definitely suggest reaching out brest a local counselor. They can provide feedback and comfort from both an emotional and professional viewpoint. So just keep that in mind. You have had your troubles, but you are not alone in that experience. Good luck with your dating journey.
I have a feeling dating would become a hot topic. Thank you for your thoughtful comment. We had our lives planned… traveling, work, even little details like all the movies we would watch. But a few months ago he was diagnosed with stage 3 bone cancer. But please everyone be kind to the potential cancdr partners of those with cancer.
I am only 20 and cancer has transformed my life in ways i never expected or at least not until we were both much older and had lived our lives to a certain extent. I am so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. He is very lucky to have your love and support. As a patient, I was actively involved in getting well, and I focused all my energy and thoughts on that.
My family and friends, however, could only watch, worry and hope. They were expected to care for me, encourage me and stay strong. That is too much to ask of someone who is struggling with the fear of possibly losing someone they love. This was a really good writing. Im experiencing the same issues. My foot got paralyzed from the surgery so it makes it that much harder for breast cancer survivors dating site. Thank you for sharing this because now i know m not the only one facing this issue.
Hopefully someday i will find mine and everyone will find their significant other. I am a cancer survivor. I was asked out on a cwncer and was worried about how to tell the guy. Well a male friend of mine decided to tell my upcoming date about my breast cancer. Breast cancer survivors dating site heard from the potential date again. I like this male friend but doubt our relationship can ever be friends again. I am hurt and upset. Go for it, everyone of you!! Cancer does not change you heart, soul, feelings for others or your capacity to love!
You are all still great breas even more respectable people than you know. Share your wonderful qualities with others! Julie thank you for posting this.